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Xenolith166

Nobody likes Space Whales

27 posts in this topic

KILL THE SPACE WHALES

'Nuff Said

My goal in this topic is to murder it so much that anybody looking at the last 50 posts will have absolutely no idea what is going on. Feel free to random as much as possible.

And remember... THE SPACE WHALES MUST DIE!!!

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So the space whales must die, have you tried feeding them cake topped with cheese?

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I did. They liked it and called me their king.

Then my whole family was killed by sea whales for no reason.

Suspecious? Nah, just councidence

Edited by Sugar_Fox
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Once upon a time a nuclear power plant imploded, turning everything in a 50 mile radius into Cheesecake. Don't question it.

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But if you kill them all, what will the citizens of starship UK going to do? They need theirs to survive and travel! Of course you realize that this campaign will anger the doctor right?

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We can make the British mechanical space whales and fuel them with the fat of the organic ones we kill.  It is clear these aether-fairing abominations must die, and no cultural anomalies will stand in our way.

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But wat if we no kill 'em butt enslave 'em, so dat spaseships wil' no longer have to have engines. They'l move with help of slave-spacewhales.

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You fools! You don't understand! You'll never understand!!!

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Space whales are inevitably attracted to planets like a falling bowl of petunias.

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Why is everything glowing green?

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Ok, fine... We will attack them but what do we do about their ship? They almost boiled are oceans away before just because they were looking for their humpbacked friends here on earth. I am still frightened at the potential backlash here!

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Railguns with Depleted Uranium ammo should do the trick.

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You guys are doing it wrong.

 

*Grabs a galaxy-sized net from his pocket, sweeps all of the space whales, and spins them around one billion light-years a second, smashing them through ten-thousand neutron stars and blue suns: before throwing them into a super-black hole. The super-black hole collapses in itself and spews out a gamma-ray burst of rainbows and Nyan cats.*

 

Now that's how you do it.

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But you only got the ones in this universe! What about the Multiverse, or other dimensions?!?!?!?

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A horse and a man. Above below. One has a plan but both must go. Mile after mile, above beneath. One has a smile and one has teeth. Though the man above might say hello expect no love from the beast below.

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Studio C: What do we want? DEAD WHALES!!! When do we want them? DEAD WHALES!!!

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Guys! I've got a CRAZZY idea!

How about we take two space whales and CLONE them, so that when we kill ALL the wild space whales, we can still create more and KILL them!

How 'bout that?

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You Fool! Why do you think we want them dead, anyway? If we don't do something about them soon, they'll end all life on earth!!!

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We must callibrate the nexus with the energy harvested from folding dimensional planes, in order to tear rifts in the space time continuüm so that we can get rid of the past whales and make the ones of the now cease to exist altogether! That way we maybe can also reach other universes by harvesting the paradoxial energies released from the space whales unexistance.

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We need to gather their "cosmic blubber" and make the dewrito, maximum shrekage, illuminati, cheesecake blubber blaster and blast them all to the darude black hole!

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The Quantum Nexus is overloading our systems, and the emergency power stores were hit by a proton torpedo in the last skirmish! We tried to jury-rig a power transfer system, but the energy cables must have gotten crossed, because as soon as we threw the switch the wires either fused or completely vaporized! We need immediate backup, there's a pod of Space Whales only a few light-years away!

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