Content: Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Background: Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Pattern: Blank Waves Notes Sharp Wood Rockface Leather Honey Vertical Triangles
Welcome to TerraFirmaCraft Forums

Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to contribute to this site by submitting your own content or replying to existing content. You'll be able to customize your profile, receive reputation points as a reward for submitting content, while also communicating with other members via your own private inbox, plus much more! This message will be removed once you have signed in.

  • Announcements

    • Dries007

      ATTENTION Forum Database Breach   03/04/2019

      There has been a breach of our database. Please make sure you change your password (use a password manager, like Lastpass).
      If you used this password anywhere else, change that too! The passwords themselves are stored hashed, but may old accounts still had old, insecure (by today's standards) hashes from back when they where created. This means they can be "cracked" more easily. Other leaked information includes: email, IP, account name.
      I'm trying my best to find out more and keep everyone up to date. Discord (http://invite.gg/TerraFirmaCraft) is the best option for up to date news and questions. I'm sorry for this, but the damage has been done. All I can do is try to make sure it doesn't happen again.
    • Claycorp

      This forum is now READ ONLY!   01/20/2020

      As of this post and forever into the future this forum has been put into READ ONLY MODE. There will be no new posts! A replacement is coming SoonTM . If you wish to stay up-to-date on whats going on or post your content. Please use the Discord or Sub-Reddit until the new forums are running.

      Any questions or comments can be directed to Claycorp on either platform.
dukejuke

Crack a joke

48 posts in this topic

Alright, comedy time!

All jokes are welcomed, be they text, ascii art or memes.

Though kudos to the people making me flip over laughing without posting a meme :) .

Broad diversity is to be encouraged, from puns of other jokes posted, musical jokes

or in my case very twisted humor.

making dead baby jokes is strongly encouraged by my part, though implicit sexual content with

aforementioned and other similar themes (see spoiler if you dare) is uhmmm...errrr, lets keep it happy guys ^^

Bottomline of this, jokes with descriptive or considerably detailed sexual content will not be tolerated!

EDIT: WARNING!!!! THIS IS PURELY FOR THE SAKE OF SHOWING NOT TO DO THIS.

BY OPENING THIS SPOILER YOU AGREE THAT YOU ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS

OF AGE, DO NOT HAVE A FAINT HEART, DO NOT MIND MENTAL SCARRING OR HAVE MEMORIES OF CHILD ABUSE.

what is the hardest part when blending a baby?

Answer: masturbating while you hold the camera.

EDIT: So i had a chat with spanser in IRC about how i was drunk while doing this.

I realised i had to make this example thing a bit more clear.

I will start.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Answer:

it depends on how hard you throw them.

Please keep your jokes in the format as seen above

I'l leave the rest to you guys :P

1

Share this post


Link to post

and so the great age of humor passed by unnoticed....

come on guys, i cant be the only one that knows disturbing jokes.....

0

Share this post


Link to post

hehehe......

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a tree?

1 dead baby in ten trees

Whats the differentce between a ferrari and 1,000 dead babies?

I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream?

Because Timmy got hit by a bus

0

Share this post


Link to post

yayyyyy jokes ^^

lovely now for a good one...

what do you get when you cross a government official with a marine?

A killersnail.

0

Share this post


Link to post

WARNING, OFFENSIVE AS HELL!

what kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?

a pedophile

0

Share this post


Link to post

well.....*ouch*....that...escalated quickly..

But as long as proper warnings are given (in fashion of what i and killster did) it should be okay :P

-WARNING MAY LEAD TO CRYING, UNCONTROLLED SOBBING AND/OR POSSIBLE CATHARSIS-

Posted Image

3

Share this post


Link to post
:o NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo *cries*
1

Share this post


Link to post

well.....*ouch*....that...escalated quickly..

But as long as proper warnings are given (in fashion of what i and killster did) it should be okay :P

-WARNING MAY LEAD TO CRYING, UNCONTROLLED SOBBING AND/OR POSSIBLE CATHARSIS-

Posted Image

or in my case, uncontrollable maniacal laughter
1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted Image

somewhat like this? hmm?

1

Share this post


Link to post

somewhat like this? hmm?

as i mow my lawn...
0

Share this post


Link to post

i know killster, i know.....*pats him on back*

0

Share this post


Link to post

*writes dukejuke's name in the Death Note* :ph34r:

(careful, somewhat wrong :D)

anyway: what is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?

a baby with slashed floaties

1

Share this post


Link to post

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was shot in the back

0

Share this post


Link to post

ninjaed by killster.....

i was supposed to post that.....2 posts ago.....

0

Share this post


Link to post

Non-sensical Joke:

 

What would you do if you found out your high school transforms into a colossal emerald-colored tower of death at exactly 12:00 AM?

 

WARNING: Expect extremely non-sensical answer!

Make a sandwich.

0

Share this post


Link to post

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Hungry

0

Share this post


Link to post

So two strings walk into a bar. One says, "I'd like a rum and Coke@[>t6#$%*kl."The other says, "You'll have to excuse my friend; he's not null-terminated."

0

Share this post


Link to post

Essays written in programming languages

 

Posted Image

0

Share this post


Link to post

What is the hardest part of being a pedophile?

 

fitting in

 

yeah i revived this with a pretty corny one >.<

0

Share this post


Link to post

Le me joining internet chat...

Me :Hello!Me :Who's there!Server: DiscoMe :Disco who ?Server :Disconnectedle me procede in ultimate rage .....

 

Its a little corny ,i know....

0

Share this post


Link to post

Why did the school bus stop?

 

-WARNING: VERY GORY AND SAD AND MAY CAUSE SOBBING (OR MANIACAL LAUGHTER).

 

 

Because the Chryssalids horribly mutilated all of the students inside and turned them into zombie hosts for their young.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post

my brain: wtf's a chryssalid, my heart: doesnt matter, young dead zombie hosts

 

my brain: oh hey, looks like zombieland, LETS HAVE A MANWICH

0

Share this post


Link to post

How many pedophiles does it take to screw in a light bullb?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER:

Zero, who wants to screw a light socket?

0

Share this post


Link to post

Joke:

 

Go home and read a guide on how to be a comedian, your jokes aren't funny.

 

(Sounds more blunt and mean, to be honest, :(.)

0

Share this post


Link to post